Thursday, May 6, 2010

Do blessings come randomly?



I have struggled with the whole back thing for awhile (bulging disc in my LS-51). Sometimes it's so frustrating I want to just let myself go and eat Pistacchio ice cream every day rather than seek out the true help I need.
Basically, I had an accident one day - that night I'd be trying to dance the can-can, mind you - last May. I'm a dancer but we're not the most graceful creatures while not performing. I fell off the bathroom sink while giving myself a pedicure! Straight onto my back. It sucked and to make matters worse, I ate pine nuts that night (deathly allergic) and went into anaphylactic shock in a matter of minutes.
The days that followed were full of soul-searching. I'd just broken up with my fiance, I was hurting in many ways and I now had witnessed first-hand how fragile life was and how quickly it could change on you.
The months that followed that were full of questions and since then the questions have just seemed to become bigger and bigger, multiplying day-by-day.
Basically, what the heck am I going to do? The pine nuts thing has an easy peasy solution. Don't eat them...
But the back - oh the dang back, in control of the rest of my body - can give me hell some days.
And my nephy Smith has given me a preview to coming attractions - some days I won't be able to throw my own children in the air if I don't do something lickity split!
Solutions? Answers?
After a $500 MRI which I'm still paying for, I talked to a physical therapist in the office and he told me that it's not my LS-51 but my hip joints... Hm.
Kenny and I got an inversion table. That's supposed to be good for a whole slew of things, including bulging discs, joint problems and even problem hips (like Kenny has - yay)

Anyway I'm rambling - this post is about blessings! I have had trouble finding an activity that I can do for cardio without putting to much strain on my back. Rollerblading is about a 4 out of 10 on the pain scale - not bad. I used to run every day - that's out. RB'ing is about the closest thing. I'm moving, I'm sweating, I'm listening to music, I'm happy : )

I haven't been able to rollerblade much lately (an activity I love VERY much) and it was honestly making me feel like I was letting my blades down. They were shoved in the closet. Lonely, forgotten. Well, I strapped 'em on today, folks!
In North Hollywood, running all the way to Burbank, there's a little gem called the "Chandler Bike Path" (It's on Chandler). It's 3 miles of pure path. And buddy, if I didn't freak the other pedestrians and bikers out today with my ear-to-ear smile, then I sure did with my overenthusiastic rollerblade saunter! (Is it just me or do you ever think - If I weren't me, I'd be annoyed by me...?)

I felt like the heavens had waited to show me this until today. Things had been looking grim for me and my fitness, with the whole "boycotting the gym" but "can't run" thing. I like walking in the park but sometimes that hurts too and you don't get that RUSH, you know?

Thank the Lord for the Chandler Bike Path!

I had to sit at the far end of it before heading home (to find shade, rest a spell, text Kenny). When I stood up, I had dog poo on my hand. I laughed. It was probably God being like "Don't stress the little things." Course I could be wrong. It could've been the dog. Dog. God?

The world may never know...

Above, Pictured, me looking normal in Julius Caesar at Theatricum Botanicum, where I met Kenny : ) and above it, on the night my life changed. But hey, maybe THAT, the "life moves fast, yo" message, was the real blessing - the world may never know that either!

2 comments:

  1. I had no idea you hurt your back!! Oh I'm so sorry :( and the pine nut thing, yikes. Yes I believe blessings seem random because we can't control them, but may infact be wonderfully coincidental and timely. I believe a no sugar/white flour diet heavy in whole foods helps heal our bodies, along with rest, low impact exercise & other personal tweeks, inversion tables, extra back pillow on weird-couch-that-makes-my-back-hurt.

    You write so beautifully, almost as beautiful as you sing and dance. It's really hard to beat those :)

    I love you and take care of yourself always. I know you do. So all the love and healing powers in the world to you always!!!

    Forever your sister, Cat/Maxine

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  2. Great writing, as usual, my sweetie. It's painful for a mother to read about and relive the struggles you've been going through. On top of that, you're so far away--I feel helpless. But you've grown into a beautiful, Godly woman, and you're showing you can handle LIFE, with all its hurtful as will as uplifting moments. I wish you were here in Alabama, but we don't have a Chandler bike path, so maybe LA is where you need to be...for now.

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