I used to have to miss church for Satin Dollz rehearsal but Allison, our producer and one of my bf's, now does some shifting around so that I can go to church. It's so wonderful!
Maybe because I teach dance (the Satin Bellz) in the morning before the service on Sundays, I'm so wound up (and sometimes emotionally invested in what's gone on), it's hard to just roll up to First United Methodist of North Hollywood and turn that stuff off. I sometimes am able to relish the service and completely take it in. Sometimes, however, like yesterday, I was having a lot of trouble focusing! Remember the gym Friday? I'd done some kind of back machine and that took its toll, not to mention I "felt like a woman" and I couldn't stop fidgeting. (On that subject, did they make pews uncomfy on purpose?) I also was holding auditions for a Shakespearean play last night and knew Kenny and I had much to do when we got out of church. But those aren't very good excuses!
I have the fondest memories of being in New Life Singers (the high school choir at VHUMC) and how much powerful joy it brought me every week. I truly do miss that element of my youth most of all. I think about it quite frequently, wishing that I had a recording of us singing those wonderful songs (although I do remember them all in my head).
River in Judea; Come to the Table; Here I Am, Lord; Siyahamba; and a lot more that I can't think of right now - they just pop into my head sometimes - and I let them : )
Pastor Joey gives these beautiful sermons, he always makes us laugh at least once. But yesterday, during "In the midst of crisis and chaos, hope lives," I must have missed something. All of a sudden, everyone was giggling and I found myself just joining in with their laughter, wishing I knew what we were laughing about because I had been thinking about something else. Something outside of this sanctuary, outside of this church! Too bad, I'm sure it would have been quite poignant!
Pastor Joey always writes "Reflections" which are stuffed into the bulletins for each service. I was reading yesterday's and one paragraph states:
"We live in an age where our belongings can possess us and our identity can surpass our individual personality." Do I feel like that's directed toward me? I sure do! I was letting food and people, activities and plans get in the way of my worship experience. And part of my "identity" is loving the service, taking it all in.
Last week Pastor Joey started to quote a martyred African pastor when he got choked up. "Live simply. Love generously. Leave the rest to God." I got teary-eyed too. More profound words were never spoken! It seems so easy. But I'm in the habit of living in complexity. I don't love my neighbors as generously as I should. And I certainly don't leave enough buttons in the control tower to God. I'm working on those three things - that's a tall order!
The choir sang "Just As We Are" which I must say was the most I've enjoyed the FUMC choir thus far. Their harmonies were pretty and the message was clear.
Lord, you love me just as I am. You love us just as we are. That's awesome.
My goals:
-Live as simply as I can
-Love my neighbors as generously as possible, just as they are!
-Leave the rest to God
-Try to focus on not worrying so much about everything else!
Here's a choir singing River in Judea, which is a song about wanting to be "Where Jesus lives," as my dad would say. A place where you feel completely at peace, totally restful, absolutely satisfied.
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